Spend some time in Divorce Court! Nothing like some good fresh air, mosquitoes, and flies to restore your relationship and rekindle that romantic spark. Miss Sherrie, my wife of 42 years, and I have outfitted our motor home for couples. It's simple to operate. Guys, if you can drive a pickup truck, you can drive this. If not, your wife will tell you how to drive it: (Do you have to get so close to the yellow line? Why are you driving so close to the edge of the road? Don’t you think you should turn on your lights? Don’t go so fast? This is taking forever. Can’t you drive faster? You didn’t use your turn signal. Are you trying to hit every pothole? Did you see that beautiful mountain over there? Hey! Don’t take your eyes off of the road. You’re going to miss your turn! Don’t you think you should get over in the other lane!) Sure none of these are grounds for going to court, but just wait until she is directing you how to backup into your campsite!
Good basic, simple RV. Clean, well maintained with all the comforts of home. Our RV is not complicated so you can spend more time having fun rubbing each other down with mosquito repellent and playing fruit fly badminton and less time setting up and tearing down. If this sounds like as much fun to you as it does to my wife and me, give me a holler.
• We provide:
• Fresh linens on the master bed
• Toilet bowl cleaner, black tank deodorizer, toilet paper (one roll per day), dish soap, paper towels (one roll), Windex, Simple Green
• Pots and pans
• Two boiling pans
• Salt and pepper
• Camp table
• Two camp chairs
• “Patio” rug
• Playing cards
• Ice chest
• Coffee pot and some coffee
• Some cooking utensils
Renter rule number one: Don’t do anything that I’ll have to tell your mama about.
Renter should bring:
• Personal toiletries
• Sleeping bags
• Food and beverages
• Personal items
• Giggles, snuggles, chortles, hee-haws and raucous laughter.
State Parks are a big bang for the buck. Most campgrounds have water and electricity. Some have sewer, too, but most of the time, you'll have to access the park dump. Often state parks have hiking, fishing, swimming pools, access to rivers and lake. Some even have golf.
Other things to note
Rules of the Road
1. Departure and Return Times: Orientation begins at 10 AM on the day of departure. Orientation, which includes a short driving lesson and pre-inspection, takes about 90 minutes. Returns are to be no later than 1 PM. Post inspection takes about 30 minutes. Other departure and return times might be accommodated but must be agreed upon prior to departure.
2. Distance: All of our RVs have a 700-mile, one-way limit. Trips beyond the 700-mile limit must be approved prior to rental. One-way rentals are permitted with restrictions. See rule #11.
3. Mileage: Save money by prepaying additional mileage. If you plan to exceed the 100 miles per day allowance, you may prepay those additional miles at $0.35 per mile. If paid upon return, additional miles will be deducted from your deposit at $0.69 per mile.
4. Boondocking or Dry Camping: not allowed.
5. Electricity: When not traveling, the coach must be plugged into a 30 AMP receptacle.
a. The house batteries will supply power to a few lights, the water pump, and the refrigerator, but are not adequate for more than a few hours of use.
b. Excessive battery discharge (more than 50%) will render batteries useless beyond repair and will be replaced at a cost to Renter.
c. Stay safe and have fun by always connecting to 30 AMP shore power.
6. Smoking and/or vaping: We enforce a strict no smoking/vaping policy. Renter, at minimum will forfeit entire deposit if any evidence of smoking or vaping is found. A diminution of vehicle value fine will also be charged. This charge is at the sole discretion of the RV owner.
7. Fuel: The coach uses regular un-leaded gasoline. All the RV’s fuel tanks are “topped off” before departure and are asked to be returned in the same condition. A refueling charge of $67.50 plus market rate of fuel will be applied if coach is less than full.
8. Pets: Due to potential allergens, we have a “No Pets” policy. There is a $500 fumigation fee for rentals having evidence of pet(s) occupation. This charge is at the sole discretion of the RV owner.
9. Roof: No climbing on roof.
10. Keys (lockout is not included in Roadside Assistance): We provide 4 keys: ignition, storage compartment, door lock A, and door lock B. Renter is responsible:
a. To provide new ones if lost or locked inside
b. Locksmith fees
11. Overhead Obstacles: This RV is 13’-6” high. Often tree branches hang over the road. Be careful of tree branches, canopies or any obstacles that could damage the RV.
12. Towing: Towing is not allowed on any of our RV’s.
13. One-Way Rentals: One-way rentals can be accommodated. Additional fees (examples: per diem, air fare, etc.) for returning the RV will be determined and charged prior to pick up.
14. Camper Abandonment/Owner Retrieval: If for any reason you abandon the RV, you will be charged a $2,000 fee for Abandonment and Retrieval – plus any applicable fees for ANY lost/missing keys or items/part from the RV. Abandonment means leaving the RV with no intention of returning to it or delivering it to the agreed upon drop-off location, date and time. In the event you abandon the RV without signing return documents, you agree to waive your right to dispute any claims due to damages, overages, or vandalism.
15. Restricted Areas: Mexico, Dalton or Dempster Highways in Canada, New York City, Apache Trail, AZ, Bonnaroo, music festivals, tailgating, and the Burning Man event held near Reno. If you have any doubts that an area is approved or unapproved, contact the RV owner before entering that area.
• Non-public roads.
• No sand camping or boondocking.
• Roads with low clearance obstructions (including tree limbs). This coach is 13’-6” tall.
• Unpaved, dirt roads and “off-road” areas.
• Areas not eligible for large trucks.
• Renter is liable for all damages to vehicle, tires, towing charges, and other expenses as a result of a breakdown associated with operating in the above-mentioned restricted areas.
16. GPS: For safety, the RV is equipped with a device that monitors location and speed. In the event of an emergency or breakdown, we might be able to assist or direct assistance to your location.
17. Generator: The generator is well maintained and will be in working order when you pick up the RV. However, continuous use is not guaranteed.
18. Cold Weather Camping: I need to know if you will be camping/traveling in sub-freezing weather.
19. High Altitude Camping: I need to know if you will be staying in altitudes above 5,000 feet. The gas appliances could starve for oxygen and the orifices will be changed to accommodate your travels. Extra charges will apply.
20. Legal: Renter is responsible for tickets, tolls, tows, and impounding.
21. Tires: For reimbursement, damaged tires must be returned for professional evaluation. Reimbursement is not guaranteed.
22. Driving Speed: For your safety, do not exceed 65 miles per hour. Doing so will result in a $35 automatic deduction, per occurrence, from the security deposit.
23. Security Deposit: Your entire security deposit will be returned less any charges, if any. Possible charges could be:
a. Trip charge: for mobile RV mechanic - $300 (or more)
b. Hourly rate: for repairs - $150 (or more)
c. Replace/repaired items: - broken, torn, damage, or missing parts (cost plus markup)
d. Fuel-fill surcharge: if not returned with full tanks - $67.50 plus the actual cost of the fuel.
e. Cleaning: if not returned reasonably clean (If, upon return, a dustpan full of debris can be collected, we’ll assume that the entire RV is less than reasonably clean.) - $200
f. Miscellaneous: There could be other charges.
g. Credit card/admin: A 5% credit card/administration fee will be added to all items charged to the security deposit.
24. Return: Returns must be done in person. Dropping off keys with no return inspection by Mr. Jack, LLC will result in a $500 deduction from the security deposit.
25. Your momma: Don’t do anything that I’ll have to tell your momma about. Maker her proud!
Avoid additional charges and get your security deposit back by taking care of the RV. While in your possession, you are responsible for the motor home.
• Drive carefully
• When parking, have a responsible spotter
• Be aware of tree branches, building overhangs, etc. The coach is 13’-6” high.